They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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