Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
