shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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