I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Couch. On fire.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
