so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize