The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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