and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
