they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
