She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
