Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
