no, he came in my armpit
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
