I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
