i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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