I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
