Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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