we have officially lost it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
