Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
