So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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