omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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