Nicole vs. Life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
