When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
