just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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