I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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