I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
