Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
