I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
