And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
