On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
