I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
