Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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