can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
