4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
