love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
