We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
