I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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