I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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