did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
