I hope mine doesn't look like that
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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