Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
