shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
