I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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