so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
