I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
