oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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