You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
