I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
