I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
