I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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