Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
