the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
